


The Plan

by Vulpes_Incendium



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:40:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25259350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vulpes_Incendium/pseuds/Vulpes_Incendium
Summary: Russia's plan to get the one he loves.
Relationships: China/Russia (Hetalia), Finland/Sweden (Hetalia)
Kudos: 16





	1. Part 1: The Checklist

**Part 1: The Checklist**

**1\. The Pet**

With a glass of Vodka in hand, Russia scanned through his checklist, deciding on his first target. The easiest target. His plan should go flawlessly,  _ it has to go flawlessly _ . He even consulted an expert to make sure everything would work. He would just have to follow every step carefully. The Plan would work and he would be happy forever. He had decided on the first target. The easiest target.

_ A Pet. _

He nodded and stood up from his armchair by the fireplace. He looked for his hunting net and grabbed his coat. Stepping outside his house, he was greeted by a snowstorm hitting his face.  _ Just the usual weather, no big deal _ , Russia thought to himself as he started approaching the forest.

He needed something...  _ cute _ . A  _ cute _ pet.

He could have just picked a kitten or puppy from one of those pet stores or rescue centres in town,  _ but we don't do that in Russia _ , he thought,  _ and I want something... special _ . He looked around and settled down on a big boulder nearest in sight.

As he was setting up the trap for whatever animal he could catch, a small hamster approached him. He smiled and offered his hands, “Come here, don't you want to be friends?”

To his surprise, the hamster smacked his hand and left. The nation's smile didn't falter but his anger started to build up. He spread the net on the ground and started to cover it with snow.

_ Maybe a bunny like the Netherlands'? That might be cute. Or maybe a deer? Now that's unique. _

Hours passed by, still, no animal was sighted in the forest, let alone caught in the trap. Russia became impatient, then suddenly an idea popped up in his mind. He collected the net and went back home. After he got everything settled, he approached the phone and dialed a number.

“Hey Canada, you know you still owe me from the deal last month, da? Now I need a favour from you. Can you send me one of your polar bears?”

Of course, the North American nation had no way to reject that, Russia had made a really nice deal with him previously and it had helped his country a lot. He just wished Russia would treat the animal well, whatever he was using it for.

Three days later, the polar bear arrived. Russia looked at the animal satisfactorily. He would have to give him a name soon, but that was the lowest of his priorities.

_ Close enough. _

A Pet. Checked. Now onto the next step.

**2\. The Family**

Back to his checklist, Russia paced back and forth in his room, planning on his next move.

_ A Family. _

Luckily, he already had two siblings to begin with, the exact right amount. They are both female though and Ukraine is older, but that doesn't matter. Conveniently, one of his siblings even act quite similar to –

“Big Brother, let me come in! Why won't you marry me?”

Speaking of the devil, scratches on the wooden door could be heard. Normally, Russia would be terrified by his little sister's behaviour, but now he has a clear goal, nobody gets in his way. Not even his own family.

“My dear Belarus, stop this right now.”

He said with the door opened. Even Belarus was surprised by her brother's sudden seriousness. Russia leaned in with an unsettling smile.

“Face it, I will never marry you. And guess what, I already have a target and you are not getting in my way. You do that, I can guarantee you, you'll never see me again. You hear me, da? My sweet little sister?”

Belarus swallowed hard, completely stunned by her brother's words. As much as she wanted to marry her brother, she would not want to lose him for the rest of her life. Reluctantly, she nodded.

“Da. Good girl. Now get Ukraine, tell her to prepare. We will have a very special guest tomorrow.”

As Belarus left, Russia checked his watch again, his guests should be arriving any time soon. As expected, the door bell rang. One of his sisters must have let them come in as he heard three sets of footsteps getting into the house and so, he went downstairs.

“Ah! There you are! You're punctual!”

Russia clapped his hands in excitement as he walked towards the three shivering figures. He reminded himself once again of his checklist, the next on the list.

_ Children. _

He first approached the tallest of the three, looking at him up and down. Tall, glasses and gentle-looking.  _ Perfect. _

“Estonia, da? You're hired.”

The next looked down, hiding his nervousness. Russia held up his hand and caressed his hair. _ It's not long enough, but that will do. _

“So you are Lithuania, da? Welcome to the Family.”

Russia frowned when he glanced at the last of the group. He circled the teenager and observed him. The boy was a bit too short for his liking, too easily startled and too emotional perhaps, but his age was around the right range.

“Oh little Latvia, please don't cry, that won't do. Try to calm down a bit, da?”

Not perfect, not even close, but he had no choice. Maybe with a bit of training, he could get the boy to tone down his emotions a bit. He would have to accept it, he had no time.

A Family. Checked. Time for the final step.

**3\. The Wife**

The day had finally arrived. The day his plan would succeed. The day his life would change.

Russia took out the red mandarin shirt he got tailor-made for him a month ago, the garment hugged his figure perfectly, showing off his shoulder and chest muscles he had been working on for a while. He smirked as he checked himself out in the mirror. _ He looked great. He looked like the perfect groom. _

He checked once again if everything was going correctly. Ukraine was wearing a loose shirt as Russia requested, not to accentuate her big breasts, she even wore a sports bra to avoid excessive movements. Belarus was trying very hard to smile and be cheerful, not quite successful though, but that was alright. Estonia fluffed his hair out and Lithuania wore a hair clip with a pink flower on it. Latvia also took Russia's advice: he straightened his hair, styled his fringe, loosened himself up and tried to look... “swaggy”.

Tapping his foot, Russia waited at the door impatiently. The others sat on the couch nervously, trying very hard not to ruin his big moment. Ukraine held and calmed her little sister down. Estonia and Lithuania tried rubbing Latvia's back, trying to relax him. Then, there came the doorbell.

Russia opened the door immediately. His face beamed up as he saw the person he's been waiting for the entire time. His crush, his love, his w--

“China! My Sunflower! It's so nice to see you!”

China gently patted Russia's back, trying hard to get out of the tight embrace. He smiled weakly and said, “It's nice to see you too. Oh and... nice shirt, aru.”

“Spasibo! Come on in!”

Wasting no time, Russia grabbed the smaller nation's hand and led him to the living room. “These are my sisters, as you already knew and these three are my new  _ young ones _ . Guys, say hi to China!”

Ukraine bowed silently as she saw China, Belarus jumped up enthusiastically and gave China a big hug. China had met Russia's two sisters before and he was very sure these two weren't the same people he met. Puzzled, he turned to the three strangers in the room.

“It is an utmost pleasure to meet you, Mr. China.” Estonia said while bowing with a hand on his chest, another on his back.

“Hey! Nice to meet you!” Lithuania waved, trying to be as bubbly as he could.

“Yo. What's up.” Latvia in his “swag mode”, well, he tried.

China was left even more confused, but he shook off his thoughts and greeted them back. Silence creeped in the room, leaving the nations there in awkwardness. Luckily, Ukraine broke the uneasiness with a great suggestion.

“Um... Dinner's ready! Let's head to the dining room shall we?”

Well, dinner was even more awkward. Belarus was complaining about how hard the final boss was in the video game she was playing throughout the whole meal, while Ukraine just silently listened. Lithuania talked about the latest gossip he heard from the world conference, Latvia threw some sarcastic comments and Estonia just smiled as if he enjoyed the conversations. And of course, Russia was smiling and staring at China the entire time.

“Big Sister! Can you believe it? 57 times! I still couldn't beat that boss after 57 tries! How dare it! The game is made in Belarus!” Belarus exclaimed, accompanied by excessive gestures.

“Such a shame.” Ukraine nodded, focusing on her food.

“Hey Estonia, have you heard? France and England are getting back together, AGAIN! They should just get married already.” Lithuania explained the gossip he heard from Hungary excitingly.

“I agree. You are indeed correct.” Estonia smiled at Lithuania, cutting his food elegantly.

“Yo, like, you're the one to speak. Like seriously, you and Poland are totally not, like, crazy for each other.” Latvia chimed in nonchalantly, reciting the lines he practised with Poland yesterday, earning a stare from the brunet.

It was just like dinner time at his own house, minus Russia's staring of course, but something just didn't sit right in China's mind. The food itself was great, soup, dumplings, authentic Russian but with a sense of similarity with Chinese. He looked around, trying to point out what's wrong with the situation.

“What is it, my Sunflower? Is the food not of your liking?” Russia furrowed his brows.

Noticing Ukraine tensing up, China replied immediately. “Oh no! The food is great, aru! It's just... something feels different today, aru.”

“Different? How so? Look, Big Sister Ukraine is so gentle and patient, just like Japan! And Belarus here, so energetic, just like your little brother Korea, da?”

China reluctantly nodded. He was right, but something just seemed... off.

“Oh and the charming Lithuania, don't you think he is as sweet as your Taiwan? I mean Latvia is not as cool as little Hong Kong, but he surely is getting there, da? And the smart Estonia reminds me so much of... er... what's the other one's name again? Ma...”

“Macau. His name is Macau, aru.” China said loudly, as if trying to bring justice to him.

“Da! Macau! Silly me! Poor boy gets forgotten even more than Canada.” Russia laughed.

Suddenly, a loud howl caught the group's attention. They followed Russia to the backyard and found the owner of the noise.

“Oh my dear Bananmyach, are you hungry already? Big Sister, could you bring him some food please?”

China was stunned by the presence of the polar bear, he was even more shocked by the fact that Russia seemed to own this wild animal.

“Oh Sunflower, isn't Bananmyach cute? Bananmyach means Banana Ball! I quite think it is suiting him. I mean it's not as gentle and small like your pandas, but still quite cute, da?”

China looked at him in disbelief, still trying to process the weird evening. “Just... what is going on with you, aru?”

“I do not know what you mean, my Sunflower. I thought you would like a cute pet.” Russia said with his big, round violet eyes gazing at China.

“This bear, your pet, whatever it is. And your... family... Just what are you doing, aru?”

“It seems like Sunflower figured it out. Alright, I will just have to tell you now then.” Russia said looking down, cheeks blushed lightly. Getting the cue, the rest left the two alone in the living room.

_ This is it. This is the moment. _

Russia got on one knee, took out the diamond ring he bought a few weeks ago. Nervously he asked, “China, my Sunflower, I would get great pleasure for you to be my wife. Become one with me, da?”

China was left speechless, by the proposal, by his family, by the pet polar bear...

“Wait, wait, wait, hold on a second. Did you get that bear to mimic my panda, aru?” The Asian was starting to connect the dots.

“Da! We do not have pandas here but I am sure polar bears make cute pets too, so I asked Canada for one!” He explained proudly.

China's eyes widened, things were getting clearer now. “And your... family. Don't tell me you told them to impersonate my family, aru?”

“I thought when you become my wife and live here, you would miss your family, so I made one for you! They are lovely, da?” Russia stood up, nervous at the disappointment in China's voice.

Now China's mouth was left slightly opened, he snorted. “This is ridiculous.”

“You don't like them? It's Latvia, isn't it? I knew it! I knew he doesn't have Hong Kong's charm. I should've gotten Iceland instead!” The bigger nation pouted, stomping his feet like a little child.

“No! Russia! You can't just bring someone in and make up a family, aru!” China frowned in disbelief. “Plus... Your  _ wife _ ? We aren't even dating and... I'M A MAN, ARU!”

“I know, I know, but look, it worked for...” Russia shook China's arm, trying to convince him.

China, however, sweeped off his hand, “That's it. This is ridiculous, Russia. Think about what you did, aru. I'm leaving.” He stormed out of the room.

Russia tried to catch up with him, but he was simply too quick. The next second, China was already nowhere to be found, disappearing in the snow. It was true that Asians are agile. Knowing he wouldn't be able to reach China, instead, he marched out of his house to his car angrily, looking for the reason for his failure.

There's only one person who knows how to fix this.

The expert whom he consulted about his plan.


	2. Part 2: My Wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Russia went to confront the expert.

**Part 2: My Wife**

Russia got off immediately once he arrived, not even bothering to park his car. Someone opened the door a few seconds after he pressed the bell, but he didn't care who that was. He stormed straight to his destination, the basement.

“You told me it would work!” Russia shouted hysterically.

The person obviously did not hear it, after a while, realising the presence of the nation, the sound of wood sawing died down.

“You told me it would work! Now he ran away from me!” Russia cried.

The man put his woodsaw down, without turning to him. “Mm.”

“What was that supposed to mean, Sweden? You are going to be getting my wife back for me!” Russia whined, it sounded more like a desperate attempt to seek help.

Sweden wiped his hands with a clean towel, back still to Russia. Calmly, he asked, “Ya sure ya did ev'rything I told ya?”

“Da! Of course I did!” Russia made two steps forward, reassuring him that he had followed every instructions the Swede gave him.

“Mm. Weird. 't worked fer me. What did ya do?” The Nordic finally turned to him, shrugging.

“I got a polar bear as a pet, I got enough people to match his family, younger ones for him to take care of. I even got Belarus to smile! He came and had dinner with us, things were going great until I asked him to be my wife!” Russia pouted, trying to recall every step he took and to find out the mistakes he might have made. Still, nothing wrong came to his mind.

Sweden sighed. “In that order?”

“Da. I figured it's the best to have everything ready for him first!” Russia explained as if it was a matter of course.

The Swede shook his head, taking a seat. “'t won't do. Who 're ya up to anyway?”

“Well China of course!”

Sweden shut his eyes tight, leaning his forehead on his palm. “Ya gotta choose the hardest one, don't ya?”

“What... what do you mean?”

Sweden sighed again, gesturing Russia to sit down. “China's way too experienced, too sharp. He can see through these things easily.”

Starting to panic, Russia grabbed the edge of the table. “But... It worked on Finland?”

“Things... were different back then. And we grew up with each other.” The Swede pushed his glasses up.

“I don't care. I need China to be my wife.” Russia leaned forward, hitting his palms on the table.

“Well,” Sweden mimicked Russia's movement and stared at him through his glasses, “then ya shouldn't 've messed up the order.”

Before Russia could reply, Sweden added, “But even then, I don't think a person like China would've fallen for that. That man is too prideful and cautious.”

Russia was obviously impatient, “Then what should I do? He knows my plan now! There's no way he would listen to me anymore!”

Sweden stayed in silence for a while, analysing the situation. “Finland.”

Confused, yet Russia saw a small sign of hope. “What?”

“I'll ask Finland to talk to China.” If there was one person who could open someone up, it got to be his cheerful, sweet wife.

“Finland? Does China even know him?” Russia liked the idea, but was still unsure.

“'m sure they've met when Fin's delivering presents on Christmas.”

Russia sighed. “Sweden, there's no Christmas in China.”

The Swede still kept his face straight, despite the mistake he made. “'m sure Fin can handle it.”

A loud metallic noise was heard from the stairs, light footsteps rushed down to the basement, revealing the man the two were having a headache about.

“So it was really you, aru!” China shouted, raising his ladle, holding a wok on the other hand.

“C... China? How do you know I'm here?” Russia could swear he saw the white light, not only did his potential wife find out about his plan, he now also got into his new plan.

“Well, my little one hangs out with their little one, aru!” China pointed at Sweden with his ladle. “That boy Iceland is a good kid, I'm letting him hang out with Hong Kong.”

“Ice...” Sweden pinched the bridge of his nose.

China glared at the Nordic. “Don't blame him, aru. I already guessed that before Hong Kong told me that. Who else on earth would give him the ridiculous idea of getting a 'wife', aru?”

“WHO YOU CALLING RIDICULOUS?” A voice roared, a sound of metallic clicking could also be heard.

Sweden shut his eyes, not wanting to witness what would happen next. Not only did they have to give up the new plan they just came up with, but also probably had to fear for their lives now. Russia also recognised the owner of the voice, his face turned white.

Scanning across the room, Finland's eyes landed on China. “I SAID WHO YOU CALLING RIDICULOUS!”

“Oh so The Wife is here to rescue now. It was YOU who gave Russia hope that this whole plan is going to work, aru! Being somebody's wife? Sheesh, so stupid, aru!” China spat.

“STUPID? The Wife thing is something special between Su-san and I!!!” Finland exclaimed.

Finland pointed his sniper gun at China, pulling the trigger. With fast reflex, China shielded himself with his wok. One would guess that item was made of Vibranium.

Sweden and Russia rushed to the fighting two to separate them, while Finland and China tried to get rid of their hold. They were having a hard time trying to catch a glimpse of each other to continue their argument however, as the two towering nations stood between them.

"Su-san! Go away! It's our business!” Finland nudged Sweden with his elbow.

“Russia, I'm telling you, don't hang out with these stupid westeners anymore, aru!” China shouted at Finland, trying to get past the two nations.

Russia held China's shoulders, “But... But I'm a westerner too…?”

“Aiyah! You're different! Besides, you're part-Asian too, aru!”

Finland glared at Russia, “I seriously don't know what this guy wants from _my_ Su-san!”

“ _Your_ Sweden is a bad influence on _my_ Russia, he's contaminating his pure mind!”

Finland scoffed. “Pure? I wouldn't call him–"

“WAIT!” Russia shouted. He looked at China, blushing. “What did you just say?”

“I said he's contaminating your pure mind!” Still not realising what he said.

“Nyet... Before that!”

“I said _his_ Sweden is a bad influence to _my_ Rus–” China's eyes widened, finally noticed his words, he covered his mouth with the back of his hand, which was still holding the ladle.

Russia's cheek turned to a deeper shade of pink, his hands slid down, pulling China's hand away and closer to him. “Sunflower, I have no idea you want me too!” He chuckled.

“I didn't–” China gave up shaking himself off Russia's hug. “Well I...”

Russia straightened China up, looking into his eyes sincerely. “So does it mean you are willing to be my wife?”

“I'll... I'll think about that.” China looked down, face showing a tint of redness. “Not wife though! I'm a man, aru!” He bit his lower lip.

Finland rolled his eyes. “Tsh! Don't act like you don't want to just jump on him, straddle him and–” His mouth was covered by Sweden before he had the chance to carry on.

Unnoticed by the four nations, a smaller figure was standing at the staircase the entire time. The young nation snickered, lowering his phone.

_hey ice, you, like, got everything?_

_yup. video's on its way._

_ur the best ;)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is NOT the ending I initially intended, but I got too distracted by the Soviets, it's just too funny, someone has to draw them! Ukraine x Japan, Belarus x Korea, Lithuania x Taiwan, Estonia x Macau and Latvia x Hong Kong! I now really want to write another about HK teaching Latvia how to be swaggy lol
> 
> The next chapter is the real ending I planned, read with caution. Warning: Dark!Sweden, dark!Finland.


	3. Part 2.5: M' Wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Russia went to confront the expert... with a twist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the original intended ending.
> 
> Warning: dark!Sweden, dark!Finland

**Chapter 2.5: M' Wife**

Russia got off immediately once he arrived, not even bothering to park his car. Someone opened the door a few seconds after he pressed the bell, but he didn't care who that was. He stormed straight to his destination, the basement.

“You told me it would work!” Russia shouted hysterically.

The person obviously did not hear it, after a while, realising the presence of the nation, the sound of wood sawing died down.

“You told me it would work! Now he ran away from me!” Russia cried.

The man put his woodsaw down, without turning to him. “Mm.”

“What was that supposed to mean, Sweden? You are going to be getting my wife back for me!” Russia whined, it sounded more like a desperate attempt to seek help.

Sweden wiped his hands with a clean towel, back still to Russia. Calmly, he asked, “Ya sure ya did ev'rything I told ya?”

“Da! Of course I did!” Russia made two steps forward, reassuring him that he had followed every instructions the Swede gave him.

“Mm. Weird. 't worked fer me. What did ya do?” The Nordic finally turned to him, shrugging.

Russia sat down so that he was on the same level of Sweden. “I got a polar bear as a pet, I got enough people to match his family, younger ones for him to take care of. I even got Belarus to smile! He came and had dinner with us, things were going great until I asked him to be my wife!” He pouted, trying to recall every step he took and to find out the mistakes he might have made. Still, nothing wrong came to his mind.

Sweden sighed. “In that order?”

“Da. I figured it's the best to have everything ready for him first!” Russia explained as if it was a matter of course.

The Swede shook his head, taking a seat. “'t won't do. Who 're ya up to anyway?”

“Well China of course!”

Sweden shut his eyes tight, leaning his forehead on his palm. “Ya gotta choose the hardest one, don't ya?”

“What... what do you mean?”

Sweden sighed again, gesturing Russia to sit down. “China's way too experienced, too sharp. He can see through these things easily.”

Starting to panic, Russia grabbed the edge of the table. “But... It worked on Finland?”

“We grew up with each other. Fin was naive, he was under my control fer centuries. He listens to ev'rything I say, he asks my opinion on ev'rything.” The Swede pushed his glasses up. “Does China do that?” The edge of his lips twitched.

“He... I don't care. I need China to be my wife.” Russia leaned forward, hitting his palms on the table.

“Well,” Sweden mimicked Russia's movement and stared at him through his glasses, “then ya shouldn't 've messed up the order.”

Russia frowned. “I don't get it. Why should the order matter?”

“Noob.” Sweden shook his head. “First ya give him a title, making ev'ryone think he's yers. Make him get used to it, make him think he's yers. Then ya give him what he wants, give him the illusion of how his life would be when he's with ya. If he wants a dog, give him a dog. If he wants children, give him at least two. He won't be able to escape.”

What Sweden said sent a shiver down Russia's spine. Swallowing slowly, Russia asked cautiously, “Well he knows my plan now, what else could I do?”

Sweden turned to the side of his workbench, he pressed a button without saying a word. Within seconds, a cheerful figure stomped down to the basement. 

"Su-san! What do you need me for?" Finland asked with a big, sweet smile. "Oh, Mr. Russia, you are here too!" 

Sweden's face softened at the arrival of his "Wife". "Fin, Russia 'ere wants to ask China to be 'is wife. Could ya help 'im convince China?" 

"Sure! I can do no problem!" The Finn's joyful voice calmed Russia down, but it somehow also sent some uneasiness down his spine.

"Thanks, M' Wife." Sweden nodded and turned to Russia. "Don't worry. Just leave 't to Fin." 

Russia nodded uncertainly. "Thanks. I'll… I guess I'll go now." Looking back and forth at Sweden and Finland, he couldn't quite place where this uncertainty was from. 

Once Russia left the house, Finland's smile dropped immediately. "You're telling me to help that guy? Seriously?" His back facing Sweden. 

"Sorry. Ya know he wouldn't leave me alone if I don't help 'im." Sweden's voice lowered.

The Fin rolled his eyes. "Don't forget your promise." He said without even looking at the Swede. 

"Mm." Sweden lowered his head. "The tax will be lowered." 

Finally turning to Sweden, Finland raised his chin, looking down at the taller nation. "5%. No less." 

Sweden switched his gaze, swallowing hard. "That's… a lot…" 

The Fin leaned forward, looking at the other man in the eyes. "I said 5%."

"Mm." The Swede bit his lower lip.

Finland raised his hand and pinched Sweden's chin, pulling his face up so that they were looking into each other's eyes again. "You keep doing what I said, I'll continue playing your 'Wifey' game. Understand?" He smirked. 

Sweden gulped. "Anythin' fer you, M' Wife." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for dark!Sweden and dark!Finland, I swear I love SuFin. 
> 
> I'm still learning how to write Russia's and Finland's English, I thought they were really cute in the anime!
> 
> ps. Should I change the tags to RoChu and SuFin instead?


End file.
